I'm fine. Thanks for your concern.

This few days been busy with stuffs, there are lab works, shoppings and outings...

This break might be the shortest that I ever have in my school life but it's definitely the most meaningful one.

This year, I'm 18. As everybody know, 18 is actually a station in life. At this station a lot things happened and it's important to decide the next route and where will be our next station stand.

I got my license, I went for my Form 6 study, I made choices...

It may sound just simple... but it's definitely full with incidents and special events... Just like, to get license, we went through undang,amali,driving classes and so on... A lot things happened and each and every of it taught me something. This holiday is the time where I organise it and see through it, digest it and... Yeah, it's really tiring yet meaningful to have these short clips of events flash through my mind over again.

Can see after digest everything, I can see the changes in myself...

The way I think, the way I look into things or even the way I carry my life... a big different compared to last year when I just finish SPM.

Things that I learnt and changes that I made... some already commented on it... while these few days,a full settle down... I can give myself a conclusion...

People may say I become cool... become uneasy... become emotional...or even becoming random...

but who can say that I'm suppose to be hot... stable... no emotion... well plan and organise in everything?No one...not even myself.

I did feel guilty and sad of causing troubles to people... but after all... why do I life with a box... a box that set by the others? I should just live my life, same as everyone... Live our own life.

People may think I'm selfish... but what can I do to fullfill ALL's need? Never... I'm just someone normal like the other. People will like and people will dislike. And it's common to have respond, what I have to do is just live my life, and the other will respond as if they want to...

I care about everything and everyone... kindergarden friends, primary school friends, secondary school friends, Form 6 friends, ex-girlfriends, neighbours, girls that I like, friends, colleagues or even some strangers that been chat with me., but will I be able to fullfill all their demand?

They have their likes and dislikes... I will never be able to take care all. This why I'm a biased... this why I'm cold hearted... this why I'm forgetful... but at the same time, I'm someone who treat friends like family, who been warm and kind-hearted... This is life;this is the world; this is how things go.

I just have 7 days a week. Like everyone do, I just have a Sunday night in every week. "Can you join me @ MV this sunday for movie?" "Can you come my birthday party this sunday?" "Can you join the gathering this Sunday?"... I will never able to attend all at once... although I care them, but i will still have to sacrifice... if I meant to be fair, then I wouldn't go any of them... but if I meant to respect my friends, I will attend one of it... No matter what life I want to live... which choice I made... Someone will be happy and someone will be irritated...

All the while I had care so much about the others... until I be fair beacuse the others want me to be fair... I be helpful because others hope me to be helpful... I'm good because other think I'm good and I'm bad because they think I'm bad...

Actually, I just same with everyone... People like and people dislike...I also will like and dislike... but when people explained... my dislike can change to neutral or even like... Then why I don't think that people's respond to me will remain forever? And why do I even care about the respond? Feeling always change... why do I even care then?

So I decide to live my own life... I don't care because I have to care... I live my life because it's my life. People may like it, people may hate it, people may don't even care about it, yet it's my life, it's just me or no other.

After all, selfish is an adjective, an adjective comes with an opinion, an opinion is no other but a part of mind of the other on that particular moment. Therefore, selfish belonged to your life if you think of SELFISH... and it's not MINE.

This few days, the changes are obvious. I can say I feel simple, easy and happy, yet it's a higher level compare to last time... I'm now living my life, and I just starting to feel good to live on my own's need.

隔了十一年，我因为《风云》电影，而看了很多有关《风云》的小说和漫画。

任何有关《风云》的电视剧和电影免不了改编。这一次又改了什么呢？

“成也风云，败也风云”说的是雄霸。 而根据小说和漫画呢，雄霸的武功是高过绝无神很多，但是这一次电影却大大的放大了绝无神的能力。

刚开始，全副装甲的任达华，也就是电影里的绝无神， 一拳就把步惊云打飞，后来聂风一脚踢在他的身上却伤到自己。 更夸张的是在《风云》最厉害的一招：《万剑归宗》也丝毫没有伤到绝无神。

电影的特效，电脑科技加工，气势磅礴，所有武功对决，都异常精彩，也把漫画乃至一些小说里的细小情节都显现出来。

首先，步惊云每每出掌是的黑云，或许会让人莫名其妙，但其实真正的《排云掌》的确在出招时，有黑云密布，让对手有愁云惨雾的感觉。

第二，聂风的武功都带有寒气，可以让人瞬间冰冻。

第三，《悲痛莫名》、《万剑归宗》、《排云掌》、《神风动》等等招式活灵活现。

第四，风云精神战斗着，得确演出了《风云》强调的精神对决。高手之间对决，已经无招剩有招，往往精神锁定就能致人于死地。

但，电影情节也的确有一些改变... 首先，聂风会入魔其实和体内血缘有关。第二，聂风拿的是“雪饮狂刀”，虽然步惊云拿的是“绝世好剑”但也不可能把聂风的刀砍成一半。 第三， 步惊云无论多耐打，受了这样重的伤，用了这么多内力，也不是说能把两人从悬崖下推上来就能，那么厉害。

但，武侠电影就是能吸引我。显然，它吸引我除了是因为动作，更是因为它的精神和背后隐藏着讯息。

一直以来，武侠片的坏人武功永远不比好人差。各式各样看起来称霸的武功去难道被打败的宿命，无名的《万剑归宗》如此，绝无神的《不灭之身》如此，乃至雄霸的《三分归元》、剑圣《剑二十三》 都难逃一物克一物的道理。

这也是所谓的道， 很多时候， 武侠小说里也说了天命，但一些人相信人定胜天所以要逆天，但最终都失败了。 或许，只是浅白的一种讯息，金庸如此，古龙如此，黄易如此，他们的小说就是只有那么一种讯息。但不同的人物，不同的剧情，带出来，引人入胜。

《风云II》的确特效或许夸大了，但故事情节紧凑，而最后楚楚和步惊云的牺牲也让这一部电影画下一个句点。 为什么我这么说呢？因为看过《风云》知道步惊云没有死。

只不过电影《风云》再现时，不知道是何年何月了...

或许它票房不再那么好，或许它不再获得好评，就像绝无神片头讲的“风云再现？不堪一击..." 或许应验了《风云II》在影迷们现今情况。

无论如何，它在我心目中仍然是正面的，它带给我的是精神层面的正面能量。

but until now I had never blog about my class...

Stepping into L6B since May... There are people who move in and there are people who move out...

For those who are constant, they are not constant either...

Looking at the pictures, a lot peole had changed their outer appearance... Inner appearance?

Maybe time is longer, people get closer, I think they change or should say different from what I see last time.

For me, life and relationship between me and the 6Bians not really smooth... We are actually a bunch of people who has different character and life circle... but Form6 had pull us together... It's easy to know each other character but it's hard to live with... So there are conflicts and issues... Even me, someone that been taken as the TIANG of 6Bian also been involve in it.

Maybe we don't use to care but now the class is small... one over 20 seem to be a big number for us. Anyone has slight problem, it's enough to cause everyone's attention.

In half a year, learnt secrets, problems from the 6Bians... from strangers to friends or from friends to strangers or from nobody to somebody... Taught me a lot and it's something special... a different type of social relation that I been going through...

There are friends that we used to be friends and get very close in few months time and then get back to the normal friend status...

There are friends that used to be just some strangers for me the first day... then be friends... then get irritated... yet time had still pull us back together...

There are friends that seem to be able to be very close with yet it get stuck the halfway...

There are friends that used to be different... but because of the changes or the influences... they seem to be a different person...

There are friends that seem to be just like friends, yet they been able to share the things and become close friends...

A lot variables...

And I believe in a year time... more and more changes and variables will occur...

It's just by that time, I may not really be interested in it anymore...

3 days 2 nights are definitely enough to teach me things.

In a strange place with infinite unknowns, there will always be people that worry and people that don't even care about it. At the same time, there will be people that stand up to be the leader, being the one that made decisions for himself and for everyone.

By then, there will definitely a bunch of people who never obey this leader as well. After all, it's a trip. Not necessary everyone has the same destination and purpose,right?

Being myself, I guess most of the time I been in the second group. I always like to explore, with or without accompany.

Normally, I don't have much restriction, but not this time. A lot restriction...

Almost every thing that I try to do, will have voices that comment about it. It's definitely unusual for me.

I wouldn't force people to walk with me, but it's kind of weird when people force me to sit with them.

For me, a trip is meant to be like visit to the place, learn about it. There are precautions... but if you over considered about the precautions, end up you spend the majority of the time sittinf or sleeping at that place, then it's not a trip.

I understand there are some people who worry... crimes... lost... stamina... but sometimes I just really don't like people take themself as a measurement. Things that they don't do mean other shouldn't do. I don't really like it. As I myself don't like to restrict people and so I myself don't like to be restricted either.

I had been in varies of trips, adventurous one, normal one or even absolutely boring one. But not even any of it come close to this Fraser's in term of restriction. For me, just too many comments from varies people... It may really start with a good point but most of the time it just made me feel that... People don't like what I'm doing because it just not part of their plan.

During the trip, there are times that I didn't follow the other's plan. There are advices and comments. Happened in a strange place, I myself will first to think, sometimes just kind of irritated when people take me as a DUMBO who know nothing....

When I just reach that place, I already ask the local... what's on the earth we stepping... any precaution... any special...

I do respect and accept my friends' comments, I keep the comments in my head. These things are like advice, but at the same time they sound like threatening... And it's become a type of pressure when you go out...

I just feel a lot pressure everytime I walk out, it's like someone going to kill me if I didn't go back on time.Or even if I reach on time, people will still show me a bad expression.

But most of the time, I have a bunch of people at my back where my exploring be more "reasonable" for others. But the last day one... A lot people ask me not to go... it's too far... dangerous... Yet I decide to give it a try. BUT with these comments... I'll never go with a light and easy mood. I even give myself a time limit... by that time,if still far from the destination... Just walk back...

I feel much worry when I'm going with a bunch of girls... I'm not sexcism... but just when girls wake up late...where they also have less stamina... with the comments I had... I really affraid that I'll be screw out.

End up, I still give a try and the girls do very coorperate... They walk very fast or even run. Yet, I don't feel relax because of the time.

I do admit I underestimate how far the waterfall can be and I overestimate that the girls will be able to sustain... They maybe able to walk far... but not in a short time limit and with pressure...

I really a bit frustrated when I walk all the way down... I see the water fall but I don't really feel happy... I more on worrying about the time...and then reminded of the comments... It's become a pressure...

Then when there are girls that tired to walk... the pressure is much higher...even myself have a lot worry...

Have some good luck where a car happened to be there to solve it but undeniable at that moment, if I happened to be unable to continue, the pressure is definitely the key to it.

The chats in midnight... sum up that everyone is really having different style... No right or wrong, but it's kind of hard when it come to a trip... where certain people becoming the leading group... but the things they want is not all of us want. Everyone has different style, different opinion, it's a bit irritating when there are people who just want theirs to stand but not others.

In short, I like trips... I respect my friends who have different style... yet I prefer trips that have less restriction... or maybe I'm just those who like to has trip with a small bunch of friends where everyone share the similar character.

One important thing that I learn from this trip...

Hold on my own stand yet do not close the eyes and ears. Listen and accept people's comments, keep it as reference but not navigator. End up which route or how to travel are still depend on my own. Can do it or not, I know it the best by my own. Same to be in life, in study... People may have doubts on us and give us advices... but end up we are still the one who walk our own road and live our own life. We are the one and only controller... So bear with it.

Jowynia, Fei Ching and Hui En joined us... We started our journey 10.15... We try to walk as fast as possible... We even run when going down the slope... I'm really quite happy when we took about 25 minutes to see the road sign where we left 1km to Jerai... but after that we walked for 10 minutes... There is no sign of waterfall... then me and pui yee decide to walk until 11.00. We ran for long time until we saw a white car and a roof... Then we saw the waterfall... It's so freaking far where it's about 6 or 7km away from the Cottage...

And when we walk into... we yet to see the waterfall... we can see river... but the river water is flowing into... So it made me confused... supposingly if a waterfall exist...it should be flowing outward not inward... Then we have a try and keep walking... About another 8 minutes walking then we see a bridge and it's enable us to take photo... Having a look at the time... I think we should stop by this point... Then I met some people and asked... they said another 0.5km will then reach the waterfall. The time is not allow us to... but since we already come... and the girls tell me they can do it on time... So yeah.we just go to the waterfall. It's really look nice. We have some camera session before we leave.

Just when we walk out the waterfall. Jowy said she can't walk anymore. That's scared me... It's about 7km... if she can't walk... I don't know how to bring her back. End up, me,Pui Yee and Hui En will walk back first to call for help. Fei Ching and Jowy will walk slowly.

We keep walking. It's really hard and I feel the pressure... We took about 50 minutes to reach and now we have to walk back but it's uphill... Supposingly it take about double the time we go downhill... but I don't have even an hour to spend... 12.30 is the time I been told that we must go back... and now it's 11.50 already.... 4o minutes... which mean 10 minutes faster on a same distance route but an uphill one? I think is impossible... yet no chance to give up...

Hui En is the only one still can walk fast... I can see me and pui yee are slower... Our legs start to be tired... both of us had run and walk more than the other... we explore first and inform the others... It was our idea... and now we feel the pressure. Thank god. We saw a kancil... and we are shocked when fei ching and jowy are in it.

The driver was an indian female teacher who teach at Fraser's. She managed to put us at the junction... By then, the car still take about 15 minutes to reach... And by that time we just walk back to cottage, I found my legs no longer tired... The muscle's harden had gne... Guess it's because the pressure is gone.

We managed to come back on time... No one scold us... I'm glad... that god help US. And I'm glad that the girls are tough enough!!!

Then we prepared to go downhill. We left Fraser's Hill by 12.40 after taking photos at Clock Tower. I'm so happy... I do regret but compare to those who spend most of their time playing and rest at the cottage... I'm proud to say... I just left Bird Watching Site the only place on Fraser's that I haven't visit... My feet are tired but I'm happy... to complete most of the route and courses on Fraser's Hill.

Going downhill, a lot people worried for vommit but not ME... because I'm too happy that I overcome the challenges... And for me, the trip already had a BEAUTIFUL FULL STOP.

Then we had lunch at Rawang before heading back to school.

This mark up the end of the trip.

As usual, learn a lot things from trips... This is also one of those that teach me a lot. Will share it... after I made it clear out of my mind.

Supposingly, Hermmant Trail should be the activity for everyone... But due to insufficient sleep and some other factors... Some people decided not to go to the trail...

Since my group had said if one do not go then all don't go... Therefore, I stick with my group where we do not go to the Hermmant Trail... The girls are tired and affraid of leeches... So 5 of us plus Vi Yuen, Yoke Mun and Sue Long have our own schedule.

Sue Long and Yoke Mun left first, while we start our plant collecting trip all around Fraser's Hill. We walk, stop, chat, laugh and collect our plants all the way down to the clock tower. Then we explore even further. We left Fraser's Hill and go to the right side of the entrance... We met a resident and he said that we just entered Selangor while Fraser's Hill belonged to Pahang. He told us there's a palace uphill and it became our destination...

We made a few stop for our plant's plucking... Then we reached Istana Pelangi... Sultan Selangor's private Bungalow... We are lucky enough to meet Mr Goh... The chinese steward of the palace... He introduced himself, his bungalows, his rental houses, his services, honey and durians... We have the delicious cold durian where it's only 13 ringgit for 2kgs... YUMMY!!!

Then we head back to Fraser's Hill... And have my dream come true... Eating chicken chop at the Garden Inn's cafe... It was recommended by the chinese aunty I met first day... She say it's worth... Although end up both me and tiger didn't eat the chicken chop... but fish and chip... and it's actually not bad and it's very good compare to the CHINESE restaurant's food... Service is even better...

After meal, we walked all the way to Allan's Water... It's 1.45, the staff's break time... We waited until 2.15... I was too tired to wait... and decided to walk back to cottage. Back to cottage... Yeong Shing, John and Yuki are MAHJONGing... while Pui Yee is watching TV... I took bath and then sleep on the sofa...

Not long later... I was woke up with Jason's shouting of "BOAR"... then i saw the few girls that joined me just now were back...

Something happened... but it got nothing to do with me... I slept for 1 hour plus... Then as I promised, I going to walk with Pui Yee. And Jason join us, others? They just too tired to walk... So for first time, we walk to the left side of the bungalow... it was nothing but Taman Setia, a local residential area... Then we decide to explore another path that no one had been there... A route that lead us to another palace... It's far... but it's the highest peak on Fraser's Hill... So it's really windy and it's the best place if we want to see sun rise... too bad it just too far from our cottage which made it impssible for us to walk so far during midnight.

Then we went all the way down to Clock Tower again, this time we wanted to buy 100 Plus for our friends because everyone seem to be not feeling well due to lack of sleep. The crazy thing we 3 did is eating CORNETTO while walking uphill... HAHA. This time, I didn't see snake... but 2 BIG CENTRIPIDES.

Then we back to cottage and rest. Not long later I slept on bed, then Keh Hau woke me up for dinner.

After dinner, I felt bored and then take bath... Then start to sleep again... Then JOWY came in and sleep next to me... By 10, both of us wake up...and I didn't really sleep much... Thanks to the ALARMSSSS... (There are numerous DOOR BANGINGS... when people come in to take bath...)...After announcemnet and discussion...The guys starting to sleep... Then we had our PILLOW PLAY... Cheng Lim,Me,Jason and Keh Hau... HAHA. After play, then we really start to sleep...

By 3 O'clock, I woke up... Frustrated because of raining, then sun rise's plan has to be push off again... Then I was surprised by the snores...Then go to the girl's room to wake pui yee up... End up... I couldn't find her... the girls look totally alike when they sleep... the hairs totally coverred their face... I was surprised by the snores too... somehow... I found Jowynia and asked her to help me... she totally cruel in waking Pui Yee... Yet both of them still sleep after that...

Then I walked to the living room... There are 3 guys with 2 girls there... Fish snores?!!! HAHA. Suddenly Tim and Kheng Aik woke up and talk to me... and that's shock me... Then they go back to sleep... Then Pui Yee and Keh Hau woke up and then we have some chat and Poker Card session... Too bad,raining spoil our plan...If not, we should be able to see sun rise...

Then, 5... Keh Hau went back to sleep while me and Pui Yee try to sleep on the wooden table... A monkey hit the GRILLE...That shock us... But yet it didn't stop us from going back to sleep.

It's just 3 hours ago when I closed my eyes and sleep, but 6 O'clock is the time that I wake up, have a shower and prepare to go to school. I reached 7-11 by 7 O clock where I had just Shining with me. Not long later, people started to come and gather.

I am in the group of 12 together with Keh Hau, Timothy, Yeong Shing, Sue Long, Vi Yuen, Jowynia, Pui Yee, Shining, Fei Ching, Hui En and Laura which sit in the van while the others are with Vivian's car.

By 7.45, we start to head to Fraser's. During the way uphill, a lot people felt dizzy and have the feel of vommit. However, everyone successfully hold it and did not vommit.

We reached there by 10 something. We went to the toilet,then me and Timothy started to explore around while the others have their breakfast. We are lucky enough to meet 2 ladies, a PJ tourist who came here once a month and a owner of a local shop. They both suggested some nice place for food and bugs where it helps a lot for a first time visit  like me.

Then I had my toast while waiting another van to come. While waiting, me,Jason and Keh Hau explore the other side of the Clock Tower where we enjoyed ourself on the playground.

By 11 something, Vivian's car arrived and then we went up to Penn Cottage, a bungalow that owned by RHB Bank. We unload our luggages into rooms and have a short break.

The view from the balcony is nice, the living room is big, but there's only 3 rooms and 3 toilets, and then I was informed that GUYS are going to sleep on the living room.

We had our poker card and mahjong session. I was lucky enough to claim back my breakfast. By 1 somethung, I decided to go out and I'm definitely not alone. There are bunch of people that followed. We separated into two group, the first one going into Rompin Trail to catch insects, the second group which is my group heading for lunch and exploring.

At first, I was kind of irritated by the long distance walking but not long later I found it's windy and it's feel a lot better compare to walking in KL. Therefore, I then start to walk almost half a day for the 3 days at Fraser's. 

I had my lunch which is also last meal at the Chinese Restaurant due to it's terrible service and food. Then we started to explore, haha. We decided to have horse riding and archery. Forget to mention, haha, it's my group and yeong shing's group involve in this ADVENTURE's idea. Yoke Mun and other group join us too.

The distance is far but for fun, we never care about it. So the girls and yeong shing have their horse riding, one of the horse they ride is MJ... Not sure it's for the singer or the basketball player...

Then we have archery. It's a totally different feeling compare to it was in Sunway. The wind is strong and the atmosphere do made me feel I'm a hunter. The girls do have their try and surprisingly they did a lot better than the guys.

It's about 4 something and Yoke Mun wanted to head back to the cottage, so I walked her where it's actually unnecessary since there will be someone who will like to do it...or even do it alone... Never mind... We 3 are lucky enough to meet a van which fetch us back to the tower and made our journey a shorter one.

On the way back to the Cottage, we see a black snake. At first, I saw the aunty that just chat with me in the morning stop and then I look on the road I see the snake while Yuki and Sue Long never realise and almost step on it. I happened to tell them... just while 3 of us move to aside, the snake "awake"... and quickly moved... It did shock us... we thought it want to attack us... Then we start to get back to the cottage.

Everyone bath and rest. Then Puan See's family came and join us 5 something. At night we have our steamboat dinner and poker session plus mahjong session again. Some of them did go out at night but not me.

Then it's sleeping time... but I can't really sleep... not with strangers in a strange place and on a chair... then it's midnight... Yet I'm lying on a wooden chair at balcony with a few SLEEPLESS people... We chat, and even drink... Not long later, there are few who can't stand the cold and decide to sleep inside. While everyone started to sleep when it's about 2 in the morning, I can just close my eyes and have some rest...

It was just me, Jason and Keh Hau who sleep on the balcony. About 4, few of us woke up and everyone's feel so cold... While I feel cold inner not outer... My lungs like frozen, the air that I breathe out is totally cold...

Too bad... It's raining... and when it's stopped... I wasn't able to go out... Thanks to the locks... There goes my first day...

It's really fun and enjoyable but a trip will never be just with happyness, there will be some other things that play it's negative role...

I'm glad that I be able to explore around with a map and with a mouth... Sometimes if we have to depend on "EXPERIENCE" people... by then, we lost the fun and the meaning of TRIP... I don't really like to be restrict... and I do also know there are things that I wouldn't be able to do or would like to do if I am alone. Totally glad there are some other adventurous people and friends who managed to come along side with me where we have fun on a strange place. This is further proven in the next two days.

路上躺着的小孩， 沿街拾荒的乞丐；
同情或感概，帮助或陷害，
谁又法让世界干净清白。

“大家互相帮助”，小学老师苦心的教育；
是否又让大家相处时少一分猜忌怀疑。

重游熟悉的地方，曾经并行的同伴；
回忆或遗憾，背叛或悲伤，
谁又能和一切没有相关。

需要学习独立，还是因无力而开始放弃？

世界不停再转，人们却不曾想让，
谁又对谁不满，从不停止的争战。

高兴关心或担心，有多少发自真心？
此刻的真情，又能有多少保留一世。

或许，朋友是短暂；
或许，有些东西不能永远陪伴；
或许，这一切说的也是这一瞬间想要的希望。

欧若灵著

As some of you may know, like I posted few days ago, I actually don't like myself.

So to made myself like myself, I need to undergo some changes.

And surely these changes never come easily. I need to think what to do and how to do it.

So this few days, I try to go for it.

A few questions I asked myself.

Do I feel lonely?
Do I need anybody?
And do I have anyobody?

And yesterday night I got myself an answer, but the answer is not important...

The solution is more important...

Like I said, I don't like myself getting sacrifice... So now I don't sacrifice...

I don't need to be an angel, afterall the world has angels and devils, so I just have to be myself...

Don't ask me to change the world... Because I will never able to do it...

So am I evil now?

Nope. I just being myself. It means I don't care things that I not involve and I only care things that relate to me.

I will no longer help people unless they are those that helped me and seem to be a part of my life.

In short, I will only care about my life ad it's parts.

I used to think why everyone has their own gang, I now get it. They just having their own life, I'm the one who slow and never get it.

Now I got it.

What am I going to do is just get some members into my gang and then live with that gang?

The most important part is... next time when I stretch my hand out, someone's going to grab and hold it...

As some people said I need to be more selfish, and now I'm learning to be selfish...

It's will definitely help in my life.

So now, I have a new life and it's about to see who is a part of my life and who is not.

The rules are simple... those I care and those care I will be it... The others? Just leave it...

I sure I love my life and I going make sure there will be no harm on any part of my life...

I would like to say I like to get friends at my back just like I like to back them up. But one thing I never forget,those who say are my friends may not be my friends. The heart can feel, the eyes can see... Words are nothing but just illusion.

I need friends... And now, I going to hunt for the real one.

认识我的人大概都知道我喜欢唱歌，也因为喜欢唱歌，所以爱看歌唱比赛。　从本地的《Ａｓｔｒｏ华人新秀》到中国内地的《超级女声》和《快乐男声》，我都不错过。

在２００７年，《超级星光大道》在台湾开播，好奇心驱使下就到当时开始红起来的Ｙｏｕｔｕｂｅ跟看。　其实，刚开始的《星光》给我的感觉是台湾版的《Ｏｎｅ　Ｉｎ　ａ　Ｍｉｌｌｉｏｎ》。同样以百万奖金为诱饵，但海选时，它并不是以歌声或歌手为未来方针地甄选，而是以艺人特质选出明日之星。所以海选的时候，还蛮好笑。有人演戏，有人甚至表演杂技。

到了初赛，就开始转型成为了一个歌唱类比赛节目，也成为了我心目中最佳电视节目。

和其他歌唱比赛节目不同，这个比赛并没有排行榜，基本上这个星期你高分但下个星期你很低分，也可能会被淘汰。　它每集设定了一个及格分数，过了就晋级，不过就进入失败区，按照失败人数和指定淘汰人数，如果失败者多，那么评审就会选出淘汰人选，如果失败人数少于指定淘汰人数，那么失败者就一定都被淘汰。

除了赛制吸引人，它每一集的主题都不同，让参赛者选着歌曲时多了一份考量。　相比我看得那些比赛，参赛者自由选歌，所以通常厉害的就很厉害，差的就很差，因为他们只为选自己风格的歌。　而《星光》，这个风格，让多厉害的参赛者都有被考验的一天，因为它涵盖了慢歌、快歌、评审指定曲甚至突破自我的歌曲。

当然，单靠比赛规则要让我为它着迷，大概是Mission Impossible。　主持人陶晶莹接下这个节目后，一改了以往歌唱节目主持人的形象。　主持人通常都只是报名字、歌曲、分数。但由于陶子曾是名歌手，在访问的时候，她会针对她对歌曲的了解，加入自己少少的看法和评语，有时候，一些未曾听过的歌，经她介绍后，会留意接下来的那位参赛者。

早期的《星光》的确是靠搞笑出位，陶子搞笑风格加上参赛者的样子，比如杨宗纬独树一格的打扮，林宥嘉有小张宇脸等等。　但也因为搞笑，而开始吸引焦点与目光。

很快的，《星光》就让大家的目光从搞笑成为了歌声的赏识，　杨宗纬因为外貌备受瞩目，让人们发现原来他歌声充满感情，是个悲歌歌王；林宥嘉带着稚气演唱一首首很少听闻的歌曲，闯出“迷幻嘉”的称号。　另外，　一些特别的节目效果也让人惊喜不断，　眼泪说流就流，　可以为了参赛者的生日而“假淘汰”注定了这个节目就和其他歌唱节目完全不一样。

进入十强，加入４个星期的踢馆赛，让外面的人进来１对１ｐｋ，当然输了当失败，所以运气等等局外原因，造就了大家对《星光》的期待。

第二个星期的挑战赛出现了让《星光》更加红的参赛者－萧敬腾。　同样是让人发笑的外表，爆发力十足且撼动人心的歌声，让人惊讶，为什么台湾有那么多怪异却厉害的歌手？

同样沉默寡言、同样厉害的歌手、最重要是唱同一首歌，　萧敬腾的《背叛》顿时成为了众人开始拿着两个相似的可以的人做比较。　这一次，大热门宗纬输了。也让人更期待最后一个星期的ｐｋ赛。《星光》没有让人失望，《新不了情》经典对决，萧敬腾Ｂlues风格输给了杨宗纬的最后一飚。两人不仅拿下高分，而且粉丝更为此讨论近一年多，从未停止，而在Ｙｏｕｔｕｂｅ上，该段影片甚至在一个星期内破了百万点击率，成为歌唱类节目神话。　各个综艺节目兴起了模仿萧和杨的热潮。

当大家把焦点都放在了《星光》上，　各个参赛者也拥有了自己风格，甚至媲美线上歌手，　杨宗纬的悲歌、林宥嘉的迷幻、潘裕文的干净、许仁杰的朴实、卢学睿的假音、周定纬的快歌和刘明峰的创作。迈入最后比赛关头，大热门杨宗纬爆出报假年龄，让《星光》受瞩目程度直线上涨。　《星光》并没有年龄限制，所以杨的举动让大家不明白；粉丝们联署希望杨能继续比赛；而台湾检调单位着表明会查办这宗文件伪造案。

随着杨的退出，最多满分的宥嘉得了冠军。而之后独有的毕业典里也让《星光》风格完整了。

之后的《星光》秉持着同样的风格，包含着搞笑、歌艺、炒作和许多惊喜直到现在六班才更改赛制。　现在无论中、港、台、新、马的歌唱节目都有着《星光》的影子，ｐｋ踢馆、一集一个主题、复活赛等等。　或许有的人认为《星光》已经不再是那个最好的了，但在我的心目中，《星光》创造了新的歌唱节目风格，它已经是个神话了。

之后，《星光》的比赛我依然追看每一集。其中喜欢的歌手甚至多到数不清。而因《星光》而发专辑的歌手也是数不清。大概有：

参赛者：林宥嘉２张，卢学睿２张，梁文音２张，杨宗纬１张，周定纬１张，许仁杰１张，潘裕文１张，神木与瞳１张，魏如芸１张，徐佳莹１张，黄靖伦１张
ＰＫ踢馆者：萧敬腾３张，Ａｌｉｓａ１张，林建辉ｅｐ１张

所以只是个人专辑也已经有１８张。　当然还有好多《星光》的好声音在筹备着专辑．．．

曾经有人问我，《星光》那么不公平好看吗？　对我来说，艺术、音乐和歌唱，从来没有好坏，只有喜欢和不喜欢，评审们的喜好或许不同，但我注重和喜欢的是，一群天真简单的人怀着梦想踏上舞台，而这片舞台也真的让他们进步而且梦想成真。　是不是炒作，是不是偏袒？有什么重要？感动，由心而发，这个节目很多时候感动着我，那不是一种可以捏造的东西，因为它就是那么简单、那么真。

也因为《超级星光大道》，我在迷失的时候很容易找回那种有梦就追的热诚，也让我更爱唱歌。

希望《超级星光大道》可以一直做下去，因为它是我最爱的电视节目。

《星光帮》，加油！加油！加油！！！

Instead of taking this space as something for me to spend time on it or to live with it. I should just say this space is an essential room for my heart. Everyone will have problems, feelings and thoughts. Each and everyone must share it out so that we do not accumulate too much within ourself and cause us stress, tired or even self-explosion.

Most of the people will just share with their parents, close friends, partner, siblings or even neighbours. I can't. Some may say it's because I don't open myself to the other, I myself will say I yet to find any that willing to share with I but it doesn't matter. The outcome is still: I couldn't share with anyone.

Therefore, I need a SPACE or a room for my heart and myself. This is a place where I can express things and tell myself what excatly in my mind and I able to share it... although with myself, but it's definitely better thanks to a clearer image of what I going and also the ponder and thinking that somehow simplify the situation.

So this time, blog theme will be Hui's Need. This is a place that I need, and a new thing that I learn and trying to practice is telling people what I need. I may be really suck at this thing for don't know what reason, but I have to and I will improve on it.

世间万物都必有自己的需求，当植物也需要空气和水制造食物，那么我会有需求也是人之常 情。　一直以来，和大家的相处，让我自己有了对自己的一种约束。　经常帮助人，但我却不要别人的帮助。有人说那是因为我不求别人，而我认为那是因为没有人 明白我。　通常这个时候，每个人都会说他们的确不明白我。

究竟是我难明白？还是我自己在释放自己那一块做得比其他人要差很多？　这一切不重要。　重要的是我需要一个地方让我告诉我自己我需要些什么，这里就是我所需要的。　

这一次，我要在这个地方告诉大家我，阿辉也是会有需要的！！！　所以，这次系列物语就是『辉』需要！！！　除了需要这个地方，也告诉大家我的需求，希望能让自己进步，也让自己快乐。　

It was a HOME for me, I took it as the place for me to feel like home, to say, to confess, to put all sort of feeling into it, but it became a part of the history very soon because I myself even doubt this feeling. During this period, a lot things happened, I myself had even affraid of log in to write about what I went through or what I felt. I affraid that this HOUSE is a house of anger, depression or any other negative feeling with no positive exist. By then, it will no longer be a home since no HOME exist with a lonely person and his negative feelings. Therefore, it's been the shortest term among the themes, nevertheless this short while affect me the most compare with the other. The darkest moment often lead us to the brightest which come after it. At last, I want to thank whoever visit this house or left comments, because these are the things that proved this house exist for a reason. Thank you very much.

原来，我露掉了它的引言。当时候，我会希望这里是一个家，进来的客人都可以知无不言，言而无尽。 但是，它却成为了一个短暂的物语。

或许因为它黯淡，或许这段期间，真的经历了太多，连我自己也害怕踏入这个家，告诉它我经历了什么，心里想着是什么。

或许这个地方不适合当我家，因为只有一个人的家不算是一个家。

所以，它成为了过去，感谢在这短暂时光，曾经到过我家做客的人，流过言的人，我感谢大家，至少让这个家不是一个没有客人的家。谢谢.

The Blog’s Titles That I used and now using the 16th

1. Chun Hui's Blog (Blogger/Xanga)
2. Amour-Heurex-Love-Happy (MSN Space)
3. Touching 感动世界 (MSN SPace)
4. Simple Life 1+1=2 (Blogger)
5. 无心的蹉跎 Unwittingly Wasting Time （Blogger)
6. Welcome To My Rock World 摇滚世界 (Blogger)
7. Live Like There's No Tommorow 活得像没有明天一样 (Pixnet)
8.  Life, Don't Need A Reason. (Pixnet)
9. Live In The Present 活在现在 (Pixnet)
10. 『辉仔的茶室』 Hui's Café (Pixnet)
11. 『辉仔的麦克风』 Hui’s Microphone (Pixnet)
12. 辉仔的白兰花园  Hui's White Orchid Garden
13. Chun Hui, Be Myself 辉， 做自己
14. Hui-licious 辉仔能量
15. Hui's House 辉之家
16. Hui's Need 『辉』需要

My name started with a L.

Some say I as smart as L.

I have snacks as much as L has...

Most importantly, I'm a Mr. L...

L for LONELY.

And yeah... Again... The WORLD GOES ROUND AGAIN!!!

KICK IT!!!

性格
粉碎者，9月28日出生的人總是具有贏得、保存他人歡心的手腕。倒不是說他們的外表驚為天人，但是，他們就是具有熔化鐵石心腸和令人血脈賁張的誘惑力。天知道！就算他們會大發雷霆或極端煩躁，也只會讓他們看起來更酷、更辣罷了。

不過，他們讓人痛苦和討人歡心的本領同等高竿，至於他們究竟會粉碎還是取悅別人的心，就得視他們當時的心情、工作或興趣而定了。這也不是說他們喜歡看別人痛苦，說句公道話，從他們的反應可發現他們是「打在孩身、痛在娘心」，也只有這個時候，他們看起來才像平常人般單純。

今天出生的人經常會同時「腳踏多條船」，夠厲害吧！至少，在年輕的時候老是這副德性，或許該歸咎於那些對象無法完全討好他們吧？他們倒也不是真的難以取悅， 只是在漫長的追求過程中，他們很容易感到厭煩或因其他挫折而讓情緒藉題發揮。幸運的是，他們本性不擅心計（至少大決策當前不會），否則這種人還真是「恐怖 份子」呢。對於戀愛、追求及性愛（時常是後者）方面，他們雖只顧著自己，但動機卻情有可原。儘管他們大可有意無意地佔別人便宜，但是基於自律，他們通常不至於如此。

爱情
今天出生的人，經常在尋找能夠與自己性格產生互補作用的特殊人才，以及要完成自己理想不可或缺的伴侶。

他是一個認為世界是以戀愛為中心而迴轉的典型空想家，因此，常會被他人粗野的言行所傷害。過分要求對方要具備自己所欠缺的，或能完全符合自己標準的性格，往往會讓自己不斷重覆體驗失敗的痛苦。其實，自己所期望他人所具有的性格，大多隱藏在自己的內心。所以，如果能不強求別人，而從自己內心深處去尋求的話，依賴他人來成就自己的情形，應該會自然而然的減少才對。有魅力的今天出生的人，若能將他最富魅力的地方充分發揮出來的話，就能夠感受到最大的喜悅。今天出生的壽星，雖然想要長久維持富有變化的愛情生活，然而卻缺乏安定的心情。如果想要維持像婚姻這種長期性關係的話，需要為能持續維持安定的情緒而努力。在這天出生的壽星，所擁有的親切、魅 力、喜好氣派等優點，在安定的愛情生活中，可以發揮到極點。

事业
在工作方面，經常與他人保持接觸，對今天出生的人來說，是必要且不可少的；那是對自我的一種激勵，更是邁向成功之路的起點。

今天出生的人，往往直到與工作的伙伴分開，不得不單獨挑起工作進度的情況下，才會體認到自己缺乏判斷及決定力，而因此感到挫折。所以，只有在與他人有密切合作關係時，才能將自己的優點發揮到最大的限度。今天的人若能充分展現其魅力以及外向的社交性才華，必能在管理人際關係上開花結果。除了外交性領域外，也適合從事法官、律師、交涉代理人、調解人員等工作由於本質有喜歡美與均衡的特質，所以室內裝潢、服裝表演、化妝品業界等行業，也是能夠發揮實力的理想工作。此外，今天出生的人，若能把自己創造性或美的才華，運用在音樂、文字、戲劇、繪畫等藝術領域的話，可以獲得無限的滿足。

健康
今天出生的人特別希望自己有個稱頭的外表，然而他們的感情生活與健康狀態往往不相容，因此，努力控制飲食就成為重要的功課。

說得容易啊！他們怎麼可能不被豐富或異國風味的美食誘惑呢！此外，他們很容易就沾染酒癮和煙癮，日積月累後，這些習慣往往就會傷及身體的健康。今天出生的女性必須謹慎地採用各種避孕方式，而且不管男女都得小心提防那些透過性行為傳播的疾病。

金钱
今天出生的壽星，物質慾望並不強，但對有關金錢方面的事，卻是個十足的神祕主義者。

認為金錢是能用的時候就要充分的去使用它。對美麗的東 西、喜歡的服飾品，或能夠滿足自己高尚奢好的花費，毫不吝惜。 今天出生的人，對金錢的處理明朗而清白，最討厭欺騙；同時非常厭煩自己的戀情與金錢扯上關係而被抹黑。因此，不會因為金錢的因素，去選擇自己戀愛或結婚的對象，如果雙方要分手，也不會要求金錢方面的代價。

幸运数字
9月28日出生的人會受到數字1（2+8=10, 1+0=1）和太陽的影響。

數字1讓人的個性變得很「壓霸」，汲於達到事業的巔峰。今天出生的人有過份浪漫的傾向（受主宰天秤座的金星影響而更為強化），所以千萬別只顧著被戀愛沖昏頭而忘卻生活的目標。太陽象徵強烈的創造力與熱忱，但是最好能控制成細水長流，而不要像失控般地間斷爆發。

適合你的戀愛對象：
3月9日 3月27日 4月22日 5月7日 7月14日 8月13日 8月22日 8月31日 9月21日 10月10日 11月9日 12月8日

適合你的朋友對象：
1月24日 1月30日 3月13日 3月19日 5月29日 6月25日 8月12日 9月11日 9月13日 10月22日 11月3日 12月29日

哈哈，前面的还蛮正确的... 后面的，就不知道咯。

But this thing totally change my mood and made my day...

It's so complicated, I hd been expect of it but never believe it will happen to me...

Yet, I want to thank GOD for giving me a chance again...

A chance to prove me life is always with hope and love...

Thank you, for being a part of my life...

This few days, there is misunderstanding between me and other.

It may seem like I'm the one that mean to others.

It all started with a plan that did not involve me...

Nope. It's all started with the cancellation of the trip, so an outing plan is there to sub in. I am not involve in it.

Simple enough because it just involve two group people, which is not my group people. So I know it well that I shouldn't involve.

So it's the first day of my cancelled trip, my group members asked me to school for the bug specimens. I definitely has no mood for it, my trip is cancel,where I yet to suit myself in a mood and into questions from people, moreover there is no bug cause the trip was meant for the bug catching.

So I try my group members I not going on Tuesday for the specimen and then they come to me and ask me go for the outing plan mentioned on Wednesday.

First of all, I already know I shouldn't involve in that since I wasn't a part of it, so been straight forward telling my group members "I'm not going."

As usual, a WHY been asked and I gave an explanation where I think is true that "I don't think I was involve in this. No one has ask me. This should be their groups' outing."

My group members doubt that and responded that they were invited, so I just tell them "Maybe you are, but not me. So I'm not going."

It just some pure instinct response, people may take it as a response of angry... But it got nothing to do with angry, cause I knew at the 1st place where this outing plan exist, and it's exist and got nothing to do with me.

Then i happened to chat with S class friends,ie KW and Adrian where it's actually about an outing for some shopping or karaoke, then happened to talk about bugs, so it become a bug catching outing. It should be on Thurs, then I was told to call some B class people. So I came to Yeong Shing.

Then everything link me with my friend's outing plan again because Yeong Shing was asked to join the trip. It's happened to be more complicated when Yeong Shing said he will just choose one and go, he will prefer the nearer one than the far one. Plus, he found out friday has no lab so thursday should be push forward to wednesday where adrian cannot make it and I called the twinnie's group. It's too sensitive especially when it look like I pulling a member from my friend's outing plan because I was not invite to it. I just don't want any issue so I reminded my friend try not to say we got an alternative bug catching plan...

During my planning with Yeong Shing, we did talk about my friend's planning. Cause I really don't know what's going on there and I know I not involve... but regard who is going, who is not... where they going... I all also don't know. So I just decide that my plan just don't involve any other 6Bians cause I wouldn't know whether I pulling any out again.

Until yeong shing said he know who going,who not; then I ask Jowy... She said she got her plan that day...So I said never mind then. then this become another issue.

It's really not my style to keep asking someone...which part of his or her day will be free or not free...

And it's not my style to ask about something that I was not involve because I hate busybody...

But it's my style to tell people what I know or I don't know when people ask me...

So now imagine this...

Friend 1: Chun Hui, do you know that Super Junior is coming here for their concert?
Chun Hui: I don't know...
Friend 1: We are going to watch the concert... Are you?
Chun Hui: I don't think I involve in this...
Friend 1:Why you are not going?
Chun Hui: I actually don't know anything about Super Junior de lo.
Friend 1:Then why you don't want to know more about Super Junior?
Chun Hui: Because I not involve then I don't ask.
Friend 1: Oh, you bu shuang Super Junior wan...

See... this is an illustration of the situation... I got my character and style... When people don't understand, they try to analyse and interpret my words and actions by their own mind, misunderstand occur by then.

I don't know whether I should care how people look at me; If I have to, then the world has too many people for me to care for; If I don't have to, then too many conflicts will happen around me.

The best choice is I care for those who I think I should care, so I did a clarification on my blog. Those I care and those who care will read this and they will know.

There's no need to apologize whenever you got anything that not involve me because I will never angry or whatever about it.

Because it's my principle of life where

I will know whenever I have to know;and if I don't have to know,by anyway I know, it's also pointless for me to know.

In life, it's not about trying to get everything, but trying to get everything that WE DESERVED it.

So if you and I has any misunderstand, I wouldn't say sorry, and you shouldn't too, it just some "yet to be understand" occured... and I hope this will clear things up.

I don't like mystery... because only deaths involve mystery...

我不信命我信爱情是没有理由
悲欢的注定在我的掌纹中你在那里
如此的清晰没有输赢你是我的命

春去春又回我走过的孤独很黑
难忘那一刻你走进生命的瞬间

我不信命我信爱情是没有理由
悲欢的注定在我的掌纹中你在那里
如此的清晰没有输赢你是我的命
可我不信命

我信命中你给的每个考验和奇迹
在我的掌纹中安身立命是否愿意
张开手你回应~
我不信命 喔~~~

我不信命 我只信你

曹格 - 入戏
最后 你转身离去
闪过 一丝犹豫
已经到底 像拍好的剧情
埋下伏笔 未完待续

是我 一直太入戏
彻底 为你着迷
安然静静 有一千种表情
看不清也不想看清

铺天盖地是你完美演技
一句抱歉说的煽情
坏人我做就可以
若即若离是你完美演技
那里热闹往哪里去 都随你

我该 怎么形容你
善变或任性
爱得即兴 没有任何逻辑
甚至不留一点痕迹

是我 一直太入戏
彻底 为你着迷
干干净净 眼神黑白分明
我怎么都看不清晰

若即若离是你完美演技
那里热闹往哪里去 都随你


陪你演出对手戏
我毫不犹豫
不管未来在哪里
你的绝情合情理

铺天盖地是你完美演技
一句抱歉说的煽情
坏人我做就可以
若即若离是你完美演技
那里热闹往哪里去 都随你

我不信命，因为我相信自己。

人生如戏，我努力投入活着我的命。

我想问我是谁；我想问为什么；我想问做什么？

但我给了自己答案，因为我演着我，我就是我，如果有有命中注定，那就是我必须努力走下去。

当一个人孤单，又没有能力解决这个孤单的时候，他害怕吗？

一个人要让自己不孤单，唯有让自己变得更好、更强，让自己依靠别人的机会少于一。

当然这个世界上要不依靠别人帮忙的几率小于零，唯一能做的是，让自己条件更好，和别人交流之间多一些筹码。

世界上的人都说着人妖不计较利益互相帮忙，但世界上又有谁不是在互相利用，互惠互利。

现在是这样，以后也会是这样，被人利用，利用别人，这就是世界上生存的道理。

哪一天不再有利用价值，那个人就大概和一氧化碳没有什么分别，就只是地球上的废气。

没有其他，只有让自己变得更好、更加不依赖别人。

I start to question myself now...

I start to find out what's wrong with me...

I start to think... Why I can't just be a little of more in everything...

More greedy?

More Cruel?

More thick-face?

More self-fish?

More inconsiderate?

These things are what I deeply need...

After all, others can be just put themself ahead of everything... what I can't?

Just been so weak and lousy...

Arghh!!!

i start to dislike myself...

can I change my identity?

can i just kill myself?

No!!! I can't be that cruel...

This why?!

I hate to say it but I SUCKS!!!